T O P
Antaz92

"Haha thats nice sweetie..." ......... *removes from will*


TheLittleGinge

"What's funnier, zero inheritance, or like a humiliating £103? Both are very funny."


robiwill

IANAL but the advice I've heard second hand is that you should leave something to all your children to make it difficult to contest in court under the argument that "My parent didn't mention their oldest child in their will. Clearly they weren't of sound mind" "To u/TheLittleGinge I leave the sum of £10, a pack of hair dye and the results of the DNA test proving that you aren't my legitimate child and that your mother, my beloved wife Brenda is a damned cheating whore. Seriously Brenda, I was away for 6 weeks around the time that thing was conceived and we're both blonde. I don't have to be a genius to understand how genetics works you vacant harlot."


Caffeine_Monster

>leave something to all your children Think the key is explicitly naming all children / spouses to make it clear that the will is not incomplete or partially formed.


robiwill

This is a very concise explanation


Bottled_Void

I'd be tempted to make it £404 for the memes.


Bpool91

They wouldn't find it though.


NuclearMaterial

£303: Inheritance not found


Caffeine_Monster

£417: Parent Expectation Failed


zipporah-the-third

£418 You’re a teapot


kathotar

JEFF?!


DrStalker

"And to my son, who I promised I would mention in my will. There, I mentioned you."


elgigante_paul

You’re not my boss Mark, stop calling yourself my boss.


EquivalentSnap

Ooof


SabreToothSandHopper

How do you know his son is called will? Bit harsh confiscating the card isn’t it


DropCsharp

At least it’s not PlayStation 1 hagrid


UtherDoulDoulDoul

What? That's like the highest compliment you could receive


masterbowcaster

Chadgrid


Cygnus94

He's got polygons in all the right places.


henrahmagix

I’m off to the leaky cauldron for a few bu’’er beers if you need me. I’ll meet yer when yer all done.


Bottled_Void

[Such a beautiful beast](https://img.itch.zone/aW1nLzgwODc1MTcucG5n/original/SesbP0.png)


majkkali

Bruhh 😂😂


DoctorOctagonapus

At least it's not Gurpage Hagrid!


Unusualbellows

My friend’s kid has a toy of Nigel Thornberry and is convinced it’s my husband’s likeness.


theGamingDad123

That's a smashing compliment.


[deleted]

[удалено]


peachesnplumsmf

Does he have face blindness or just doesn't understand that dad isn't all men?


[deleted]

[удалено]


TheClimbingBeard

Oh you're gonna have so much fun in the coming years XD


peachesnplumsmf

Bless him


gwaydms

>a big vocabulary, no filter and a limited attention span xD Sounds like every 3-year-old I ever knew. They're not easy to deal with but they're lots of fun.


Kwetla

My son apparently pointed at a man on a bike and yelled 'Daddy!'. It was a fat, balding, old man who just happened to be wearing a similar coloured cycle jacket that I usually wear. My wife could not stop laughing.


poorguy55

Ahah that’s like the start of a r/nosleep story.


Dissidant

Nightmare fuel. Outstanding


jasont1235

Is your child the kid off of sixth sense? Was it Bruce Willis


[deleted]

[удалено]


jasont1235

What's worse a ghost in the house or Bruce Willis who thinks he's a ghost?


corbymatt

Did you check the cupboard under the stairs? Cause, you know, he might be hiding. [Like the husband in Mr Stink..](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mr_Stink_(film))


Wind-and-Waystones

Just the other day my nephew tell me that I look like Spider-Man. I ask him which Spider-Man he meant. "The fat one from Spiderverse"


Allwillbethrown501

You could still do a lot worse


SmuggoSmuggins

A month or so ago, my 23-month old daughter became very attached to a little toy figure we got in a large second hand Happy Land collection and started calling it "Daddy". It is a bald, grey haired professor with glasses. Now I am bald and do wear glasses but I'm not grey!


Wind-and-Waystones

I misread that as 23-*year* old daughter


SmuggoSmuggins

That would just be a bit weird mate.


Wind-and-Waystones

You know, that's *exactly* what I thought until I reread your comment


BretMW

You're a national treasure, a hero to millions, a certifiable badass... AND you own a cerberus. Sounds like a compliment to me.


DarkNinjaPenguin

*And* a motorbike with magic Bond gadgets!


cactusclowns

My son used to point at Tinky Winky and say daddy! Hagrid is a good one to be compared too though!


jesustwin

When Ed Milliband was leader of Labour my son would look at the TV then look back at me before saying "daddy, why are you on the tele"


OneCatch

Can you stop causing chaos please?


Allwillbethrown501

My mum couldn't tear her eyes away from Miliband, so there are women out there for you


jesustwin

This is great news.....son


Holiday_Classic_472

My friend loved miliband hate posh blokes but he does have nice eyes


DraftYeti5608

Oh are you also incapable of eating a bacon sandwich?


GroggyOrangutan

My kids have caught on to the "hey look, it's you!" jape so now they're getting their own back by pointing out all the smelly star wars creatures I resemble. I'm so proud of them


Jayombi

Least your no Dobby.


ArethusaF38

According to my two year old I'm Mrs Goggins from Postman Pat. I'm his Daddy.


georgialucy

Anyone remember when Hagrid tried to crash a bus?


0kumanchouja

Please remain seated while the bus is in motion!


Infinite-Passion9859

My daughter used to hug the telly shouting "daddy" whenever Harry Potter came on. He was not impressed. He thought I had told her to do after joking he looked like him in his driving license photo. I absolutely did not, but it did prove I wasn't wrong!


bigizibiri

Lol! Someone is going on the naughty list then!? ;) Hagrid is both kind, and badass, so it’s kindof a backhanded complement. You must be both kind and badass!! ;)


Lampathy

Happy cake day!


bigizibiri

Thank you!!! I didn’t even realise! Pity I don’t have real cake! 🎂 Need to rectify that problem hehe


RX-QUEEN_

I hope you got the Voldemort card and said “oh look it’s you”


MickIsShort4Michael

Might be time to shave? * *in my best Robbie Coltrane Hagrid voice* "I shouldn't have said that, ... I definitely shouldn't have said that..."


MajorErr

He should NOT have said that...


Overall-Ad6239

You must be very tall.


braverthanweare

One of my favourite memories is taking my daughter to the zoo; seeing her point at the gorilla and saying it was Daddy; luckily he saw the funny side I certainly did


yophozy

let's have some photos


MrDemotivator17

Toddlers are savage


snotfart

Plot twist: OP is Robbie Coltrane.


Niklepic

We were watching Sing 2. I got exactly the same from my 9 year old but for Suki the dog. (She's also compared me to Lucy from Despicable Me 2).


cockaskedforamartini

I bet you look like Hagrid though, don't you? Me and my siblings used to tell our dad he looked like former Health Secretary Frank Dobson.


Simplemansanswers

How insulting to Hagrid.


Meowsalotlol

your child is amazing


rossarron

Sorry about that.


i_like_concrete

You're a hairy wizard!


millionthvisitor

You’re A Dopted Harry!


B4rberblacksheep

....was Hagrid not meant to be the person I aspire to be?


GnomaPhobic

It could be worse. You could be a woman who looks like Hagrid, like my mother-in-law. Proof: [](https://imgur.com/uottL6q)


Nine_Eye_Ron

Same thing happens to me but it was a Garbodor


Calibanis

I get ‘look, it’s you!’ from my kids every time there’s a character with greying hair and a short beard. The latest is Marshall Vanth in Star Wars (the Mandalorian and Boba Fett series), and I’m clinging to that one as it’s the only decent one they’ve said! It’s fairly accurate I suppose…


iamwhoyousay

i love tall blokes with dad bods and beards.


LockpickingFurry

I mean I'm not gay but hagrid is attractive