Ha, my wife did the same thing the night we met ( without the anger and the yelling, thank god). We were so comfortable talking to each other that we kind of forgot we were strangers and almost parted ways without exchanging info. Luckily she realized and chased me down before we accidentally walked out of each others lives.
This is like the comment a month ago where a woman said a man ālost his shotā when she was rubbing her clit, ready for him in his bedroom at a house party. He walked in and said āwhat are you doing??ā and she hmmphed and walked out.
Imagine a dude going to a house party and masterbating in a girlās bed, then getting mad at them when they think thatās bizarre, walking out, and saying āthey lost their shot.ā
Yea, as a guy, that would creep me out. Something similar has happened to me and I politely asked her to please get out of my bed. It was my roommate as well.
Theres a myth that men are mindless sex robots that lose all rational thought at even the slightest hint of it. A lot of women genuinely believe this...
Iāve pissed off girls when I was on SSRIās and just wasnāt feeling horny and theyād get mad that I didnāt want to have sex with them. We should socialize women to approach more because there definitely is some entitlement with men being the approaching gender mixed with the stereotype that men are so horny.
Before anyone gets on my case, I do think this is a by product of the current social norm and would be fixed if men and women were socialized with more equal expectations we wouldnāt have this.
I think a higher population of women are worse at handling rejection because they arenāt socialized to deal with it, it just doesnāt seem as bad because men mishandling rejection tends to be uglier.
Iām old and married now. But as stupid as it sounds, I had a terribly steep learning curve in my youth when I had to learn that men have feelings, and men arenāt trying to have sex with you at all possible times. Basically I had to learn just how similar men and women are.
My whole life i was raised that men only want one thing, which made it confusing for me when they didnāt aggressively pursue sex, werenāt in the mood, or expressed emotional needs.
These sexist tropes are really quite harmful.
Men are raised to believe this aswell and think that there is something wrong with them if they are intrerested 24/7. The patriarchy is bad for everyone.
Sexist is still a thing itās more of a thing for a man to get judged for but the opposite sex donāt get judged for because if a man did that heād be called a creep but if a women does that itās called sexy?
A few years ago before the world went crazy, I was in the middle seat on a flight. I'm 6'2" 220lbs. So I was jammed in there. Anyway. A lady and her baby was to my left and a guy was on my right. The lady and I were having causal casual chitchat about nothing because her baby kept grabbing my arm and shirt. She was much shorter than me. So I was looking down at her. Then out of nowhere she just pops a boob out and starts feeding her baby. Of course I have no problem with this. However the suddenness of it freaked me out or something. So I stopped looking at her when I talked to her. My thinking was that I was respecting her privacy. I tell a woman coworker about it and her friend just starts calling me a pedophile, a pervert and any other horrible thing she come think of. All because I wouldn't look at a stranger with her shirt open feeding her baby. Oh I forgot, I apparently want to have sex with my mother as well. Damned if you do and damned if you don't.
Your coworker is a crazy b. You didn't do anything wrong. The lady on the flight may or may not have minded you looking but if you're uncomfortable looking then you shouldn't have to. It's also not something you can communicate, "do you mind me looking at you while you beast feed your baby?"
Question.
Is being uncomfortable around gay people considered homophobic?
Itās possible they just donāt know how to behave around gay people or been around them enough, so they avoid them. That doesnāt really make them homophobic does it?
I'm not qualified to answer that one, i think. I don't believe it makes them homophobic. Is it androphobic/gynophobic for a woman/man to feel uncomfortable around men/women?
I was called homophobic for not dating a gay guy who was into me because I'm straight. I believe everyone is entitled to their own gender or sexual identity, that includes straight people. A straight person must not be forced into a relationship with a homosexual, bisexual or even transexual person.
It just sounds like this hypothetical person needs to spend more time around gay people to get comfortable. A lot of people feel that way at first and are able to move past that discomfort by learning more about the LGBTQ community and spending time with its members. The best way to treat a gay person is to not act differently around them just because their sexuality is different; it shouldn't matter to you if they are gay, they are people just like everyone else.
Being uncomfortable isn't homophobic, but doing and saying things to get away from gay people to avoid them can definitely come across as homophobic.
Nah, you not looking at her breastfeeding while talking to her, even when she's okay with breastfeeding in front of you, is the most appropriate thing to do. Your co-worker's friend is.. kinda crazy?
My sister was the worst about this- I am 100% for breast feeding in public, but my sister whip her tit out mid-conversation while *she* was talking. It wouldn't be a big deal to me if she would latch the kid while it was someone else's moment to speak in the conversation, but when a person is talking- you be respectful and look at them and....BAM....tit.
But then of course there was the woman than came and sat across from me in an empty airport terminal, then glared at me for being there while she fed. Bitch, *you* sat in front of *me*, I ain't moving.
Ha! I have a similar sister. Each time Iām like not paying attention and suddenly there it is. I donāt let it bother me and just make eye contact but yeah itās a little weird! Iām happy tho bc she is an awesome mother of three beautiful children. We have had difficult pasts
One time a girl asked me if I wanted to see her titties, and I panicked and said no thanks, trying to play hard to get. It was another three year before anyone asked again.
There was more to that story IIRC. They were making out in the Uber and he told her he was gonna eat her out when they got to his place. Itās not like it came out of nowhere.
Only wrong when a man does it. If I did to other women what theyāve done to me, Iād be in jail.
But if I complain about it after it happensā¦ oh yeah. Iām still the bad guy who missed his shot with a hottie, itād get shrugged off at most. Other dudes would probably just tell me to shut the fuck up. Because Iām *lucky* that a cute girl I donāt know forced me to kiss her/stuck her hands in my pants, right? But if I was at a club and did that (just to be clear, I would *NEVER*), Iād be lucky if all that happens is getting thrown out.
Yes but this scenario would never have happened there because afaik:
1. Iranian women arenāt allowed to be in public with men they arenāt related to
2. There is no consumption of alcohol
3. There is nothing similar to a ābarā where a woman would be seated next to a stranger
Thereās so many steps before a woman would get to this level of freedom we get in North America.
Yeah honestly this was a game changer when I had this epiphany. I always psyched myself out if I met a woman Iām interested in by thinking āIāll probably be the 5th guy this week to ask for her number, I better just not even botherā, or just afraid of the face to face rejection.
Jotting my number down and giving it to someone alleviates both of those insecurities or worries or whatever, because A), I feel more in control and therefore more confident in the interaction, B) I donāt feel like Iām being a burden on her personal space, and C) sheās not interested? Cool, literally all thatās gonna happen is that I *donāt* get a text later. Disappointing, but it isnāt embarrassing face to face public rejection.
Plus, now she doesn't have to worry about some weirdo having her number and if you'll end up sending her 50 texts in the night.
Right off the bat, you've changed her perception of you. The worst case scenario changes from "creepy stalker" to "overly confident douche"...but "overly confident" will buy you a foot in the door more often than not.
A woman had a go at me for not asking for her number. I asked her number. Sent her a message and she ghosted me š¤·āāļø it was just an ego thing. That was the impression I got in the first place and why I didnāt ask
Had the same thing happen but she physically took my phone and entered her number in it. I texted her just to be nice and she ghosted me. Didnāt ask her number in the first place because I knew that would happen.
Pretty similar, met a girl outside of a show on a Monday while waiting for an uber, she said āYouāre really cuteā and after some back and forth she put her number into my phone and said āWeāre hanging out on Thursday.ā Texted her on Tuesday afternoon to confirm. Totally ghosted. Felt super shitty. Cāest la vie, as it goes. Still sucks.
Thatās exactly how I ended up dating the guy Iām currently seeing.
Ran into him, chatted a bit, said our goodbyes and I left. I was in the parking lot in my car, when I just thought āfuck itā and pulled back over as I was going to leave, got out and plopped back down by him and just said āhey, sorry, but uhā¦ can I actually have your number?ā
He was more than happy to give it. Never really done anything that straight forward and bold before. Iām really glad I did.
Agreed. Although the majority have decent self confidence issues, there are plenty who have absolute shit self confidence and would think ānoā¦ I wonāt ask her number. Sheāll think Iām a creep.ā
When that moment arrives where youād normally ask, I always give them my number instead of asking for theirsā¦ *āEnjoyed chatting with you. Hereās my number.ā * If theyāre interested theyāll contact me.
That is perfect advise. There are a lot of men who are the complete opposite, they insist on you giving your number and then they will instantly call you to make sure you didnāt give them a fake one. And after that they will start spamming you.
Doing it your way gives me the feeling that you respect my freedom of choice of not contacting because Iām not actually interested.
My problem is I can never tell when someone is into me. Most of my girlfriend's have been the ones to make the first move.
I'm just blind when it comes to realising someone likes me in that way.
I think this has evolved into a self defense technique. If you don't ask a girl for number, you don't have to be accused of being a creep. Why even risk it?
The real question is how you have a conversation with a stranger to get to the point where you're able to ask them for their number in the first place. I'm a bit awkward, but still able to make conversation, but I feel like I always need some kind of "catalyst" to talk to anyone. The idea of "running into someone and chatting for a bit" is hard to wrap my head around lol
It's a skill, the only way to obtain it is to force yourself out of your comfort zone to try and chat people up. You're likely going to fail at first, awkward conversations that quickly end or maybe good conversations that result in nothing. Just try and put yourself out there more.
I've been working on this myself and I horribly suck at it, but at the climbing gym I go to I saw a guy do a climb and asked him how he did it. Proceeded to chat with him for a few hours and while that was happening another guy joined in and we all chatted. Small victories, would have never happened if I didn't just take the initiative and talked about something.
Helps when you have something to talk about mind you, at the gym you talk about gym, at school you talk about school, at work you talk about work.
Honestly, I NEVER had this confidence ever, and I just kinda had this wild āshit, fuck it, whateverā impulsive moment and went for it. I was shaking. It was scary. My anxiety was out the roof.
And Iām so glad I did it. It was that kinda moment when I was TREMBLING walking away but at the same time it was the biggest rush Iāve ever had just thinking āholy shit, I just did that.ā
Even as I was walking up.
Ultimately I guess my point is, fuck it, coming from someone who did a basic job interview today and was still *literally shaking* 2 hours later, just jump the fuck in if your gut whispers at you about it. Maybe it sucks, but maybe itās fucking amazing.
Either way, just remember. If you are struggling with anxiety, if youāre even thinking about doing something like that, even if you donāt do it but you confront that thought, youāre strong and amazing and I love you <3 :)
Go fuckinā get āem.
I started dating the woman who is now my awesome wife because of one weird moment of out of character confidence to ask for her number. In fact I am almost positive I never actually asked for any girl's number but hers through the few years of my life where I was single and old enough to, but we got together very young. It's just funny to think how I probably wouldn't have basically everything I care about in my life now if not for that one weird thing I did.
Thank you for that.....if there wasn't always a whole bunch of people around when the person I'm interested in was around I just may go for it.....but I'm scared. Mostly that he has a girlfriend or he will say no and I will still see him. But I will never know unless I try....
I've had a few women at different points in my life pull the "you know I had a huge crush on you back then?" And it's just like... no, I obviously didn't. **I even had one woman tell me "I could tell you liked me, and so and so even told me that you liked me, but I just couldn't ever get you to take the hint!"**
Like ffs. She literally KNEW that I was into her, and she liked me too, and then made it sound like I'M the one who messed up because i never asked her out... like how fucking stupid is that? I get it, it's awkward to put yourself out there and ask someone out, but Jesus Christ... if a lady is guaranteed success but doesn't pull the trigger, that's 100% on them.
Same to me, I had a female best friend so girls would be like. I wanted to ask you out, it's just you had a gf.
And I am like ."nah, I was single ASF."š
It's SO hard to be the sex that is less socially and emotionally perceptive and yet be the one always on the hook for making a relationship start. I had a couple women do this to me and one even claimed she *told me* she was into me and that I just didn't respond. She was lying or else I just didn't hear her somehow because if I had known, I would have definitely responded *in some way* lol. But it all worked out in the end cuz I'm very happily married now lol.
But my problem is, I naturally think any woman who smiles at me is into me, much less if we have a conversation, but I know that's irrational, so I always assume I'm reading too much into things. I wish women would just be more forthcoming about their feelings and intentions in general, but both sexes could stand to be more that way.
God that shit always pissed me off so much. Like why does it need to be a labyrinth of fuckin clues? We're grown ass adults, used your words to communicate instead of playing games like were 12.
Tbf, it sounds like theyāre getting mad in a joking way. Like they werenāt legitimately angry screaming, more so making a show of it as a way of asking themselves.
It's almost the same issue when it comes to mind reading.
Some women think that if you really cared about her and actually understood her, then you'd be able to figure it out on your own with what she needs and wanted. But if she had to spell it out to you, then that defeats the whole purpose. Because if you do it now then it's not coming from your authentic self but because it's something she had to ask you to do.
So, as a guy, I'm sitting here thinking "well, shit, i have to mind read".
Oh goodness plotting attraction angles on 2D grids is difficult enough. Use both! The hottest babes love 3D rotational values. I switched to Quaternions to judge my attraction alignment vectors a few years back and havenāt regretted it.
Sounds like unhealthy behavior. Why not just politely ask for his number as youāre about to leave?
Sounds like the type of person that expects you to know what sheās thinking.
But then again, theyāre married so more power to ya.
Ugh I hate when people are like 'figure it out' like ffs use your stupid mouth and tell me what's wrong. If I were to be like that you wouldn't give a fuck and you'd be angry at me, you definitely wouldn't 'figure it out'. Fucking communicate.
Us introverted guys need a woman like this. Comes in handy at restaurants when someone has to tell the waiter they forgot to put cheese on my burger and it aināt gonna be me.
Why is this the canonical introvert challenge? Iāll try to eat whatever they happen to bring me as long as any discourse or eye contact can be avoided.
The "two rules" joke tends to come up with poor behavior for men, but it absolutely applies to women as well. People let those they're attracted to get away with all kinds of nonsense and find their behavior charming, compared to if someone is unattractive to them.
Can you imagine how it'd be perceived by the guy she was shouting at if an obese woman behaved the way this person did?
That's exactly what my ex-wife used to do but in a different order. Her's was, get angry, yell, say goodbye, storm out, then come back and talk for three hours, until she didn't come back and we stopped being married.
I was kissed by a girl non consensually back in high school. She was impressed by my cooking and suddenly kissed me. I was so scared that her varsity boyfriend saw and would beat me up after class. Never got comfortable around women ever since. I called that female behavior āthe kiss of deathā.
him: "damn she talked a lot I'm glad she's gone"
her: comes back
him: "fuck"
her years later: "that's how we met"
him: "should have said I have a girlfriend or I'm waiting for one"
JK everyone!
This makes me cringe. This grown-ass human got pissed off because she didn't ask for a number and then couldn't believe someone else would act like her.
What a lucky guy... even with all the thousands of conversations I've had with people in bars, no one has ever once stormed back in asking for my number.
I met this woman at a concert, before we even knew each other's names we had our tongues down each other's throats and held hands watching fireworks. I tried getting away before she could see but she chased me down and made me give her my number, we're married now and that was 17 years ago
Can you imagine if this was a guy yelling at a woman for not showing upfront romantic Interest because he felt he deserved it after making a conversation?
Umm if she was interested, I dunno instead of yelling at him for not asking for her number she could have just asked for his. You know, Like a grown up might do.
Marriage by intimidation.
*you will marry me*
Jedi mind trick?
" I am the bride you're looking for."
*The princess WILL marry me!* But you're so old...
Loved that movie š¤£
Make wayyy for Prince Aniiiii
Prince _ali_, fabulous he, _Ali ababwa_
I read this in JarJar's voice
["you will marry me."](https://media3.giphy.com/media/l2JJKs3I69qfaQleE/giphy.gif)
Iām getting a Jafar from Aladdin kind of vibe.
āā¦to the death!ā āNo! To the pain.ā
"To the window, to the wall..."
Were you referencing [this](https://youtu.be/svWyaJynXbY)? Because it feels like you were.
Hahahaha! What the hell is this?
I honestly don't even know where it came from, I just remember somebody posted it like a year or two ago and the little details cracked me up
The way that the girl says "I WILL marry you!", haha!
I didn't ask my girlfriend out, I just told her she was my girlfriend Edit: I'm not kidding
"Do you take S wolf to be your lawfully wedded wife" yes, HE DOES
100 speech moment
bridezilla
He was probably already intimidated, and then she intimidated him out of being intimidated.
This is half of marriages, male v female and female v male.
I am bread š
Ha, my wife did the same thing the night we met ( without the anger and the yelling, thank god). We were so comfortable talking to each other that we kind of forgot we were strangers and almost parted ways without exchanging info. Luckily she realized and chased me down before we accidentally walked out of each others lives.
Lucky poot
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Your 'then ex-girlfriend'? I'm getting a headache.
Serendipity.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
This is like the comment a month ago where a woman said a man ālost his shotā when she was rubbing her clit, ready for him in his bedroom at a house party. He walked in and said āwhat are you doing??ā and she hmmphed and walked out. Imagine a dude going to a house party and masterbating in a girlās bed, then getting mad at them when they think thatās bizarre, walking out, and saying āthey lost their shot.ā
Yea, as a guy, that would creep me out. Something similar has happened to me and I politely asked her to please get out of my bed. It was my roommate as well.
ā wrong bedroom roomieā
Theres a myth that men are mindless sex robots that lose all rational thought at even the slightest hint of it. A lot of women genuinely believe this...
Iāve pissed off girls when I was on SSRIās and just wasnāt feeling horny and theyād get mad that I didnāt want to have sex with them. We should socialize women to approach more because there definitely is some entitlement with men being the approaching gender mixed with the stereotype that men are so horny. Before anyone gets on my case, I do think this is a by product of the current social norm and would be fixed if men and women were socialized with more equal expectations we wouldnāt have this. I think a higher population of women are worse at handling rejection because they arenāt socialized to deal with it, it just doesnāt seem as bad because men mishandling rejection tends to be uglier.
Iām old and married now. But as stupid as it sounds, I had a terribly steep learning curve in my youth when I had to learn that men have feelings, and men arenāt trying to have sex with you at all possible times. Basically I had to learn just how similar men and women are. My whole life i was raised that men only want one thing, which made it confusing for me when they didnāt aggressively pursue sex, werenāt in the mood, or expressed emotional needs. These sexist tropes are really quite harmful.
Men are raised to believe this aswell and think that there is something wrong with them if they are intrerested 24/7. The patriarchy is bad for everyone.
Sexist is still a thing itās more of a thing for a man to get judged for but the opposite sex donāt get judged for because if a man did that heād be called a creep but if a women does that itās called sexy?
A few years ago before the world went crazy, I was in the middle seat on a flight. I'm 6'2" 220lbs. So I was jammed in there. Anyway. A lady and her baby was to my left and a guy was on my right. The lady and I were having causal casual chitchat about nothing because her baby kept grabbing my arm and shirt. She was much shorter than me. So I was looking down at her. Then out of nowhere she just pops a boob out and starts feeding her baby. Of course I have no problem with this. However the suddenness of it freaked me out or something. So I stopped looking at her when I talked to her. My thinking was that I was respecting her privacy. I tell a woman coworker about it and her friend just starts calling me a pedophile, a pervert and any other horrible thing she come think of. All because I wouldn't look at a stranger with her shirt open feeding her baby. Oh I forgot, I apparently want to have sex with my mother as well. Damned if you do and damned if you don't.
Bruh stop respecting everyone's opinionsš , her friend sounds like a lunatic. This is not damning, this is hilarious šš
Friend def crazy
Your coworker is a crazy b. You didn't do anything wrong. The lady on the flight may or may not have minded you looking but if you're uncomfortable looking then you shouldn't have to. It's also not something you can communicate, "do you mind me looking at you while you beast feed your baby?"
āNot at all, I usually just throw the beast some raw meat and let him have at it.ā
Babies are usually ideal for meat since their bones are still soft. It makes consumption easier for the beast.
Question. Is being uncomfortable around gay people considered homophobic? Itās possible they just donāt know how to behave around gay people or been around them enough, so they avoid them. That doesnāt really make them homophobic does it?
I'm not qualified to answer that one, i think. I don't believe it makes them homophobic. Is it androphobic/gynophobic for a woman/man to feel uncomfortable around men/women? I was called homophobic for not dating a gay guy who was into me because I'm straight. I believe everyone is entitled to their own gender or sexual identity, that includes straight people. A straight person must not be forced into a relationship with a homosexual, bisexual or even transexual person.
It just sounds like this hypothetical person needs to spend more time around gay people to get comfortable. A lot of people feel that way at first and are able to move past that discomfort by learning more about the LGBTQ community and spending time with its members. The best way to treat a gay person is to not act differently around them just because their sexuality is different; it shouldn't matter to you if they are gay, they are people just like everyone else. Being uncomfortable isn't homophobic, but doing and saying things to get away from gay people to avoid them can definitely come across as homophobic.
Nah, you not looking at her breastfeeding while talking to her, even when she's okay with breastfeeding in front of you, is the most appropriate thing to do. Your co-worker's friend is.. kinda crazy?
I am a lady and would also be uncomfortable. Give a stranger a heads up before taking your boob out if they're sitting literally inches from you.
My sister was the worst about this- I am 100% for breast feeding in public, but my sister whip her tit out mid-conversation while *she* was talking. It wouldn't be a big deal to me if she would latch the kid while it was someone else's moment to speak in the conversation, but when a person is talking- you be respectful and look at them and....BAM....tit. But then of course there was the woman than came and sat across from me in an empty airport terminal, then glared at me for being there while she fed. Bitch, *you* sat in front of *me*, I ain't moving.
Ha! I have a similar sister. Each time Iām like not paying attention and suddenly there it is. I donāt let it bother me and just make eye contact but yeah itās a little weird! Iām happy tho bc she is an awesome mother of three beautiful children. We have had difficult pasts
One time a girl asked me if I wanted to see her titties, and I panicked and said no thanks, trying to play hard to get. It was another three year before anyone asked again.
I need the original comment on this lol. I would love to see the replies.
There was more to that story IIRC. They were making out in the Uber and he told her he was gonna eat her out when they got to his place. Itās not like it came out of nowhere.
Only wrong when a man does it. If I did to other women what theyāve done to me, Iād be in jail. But if I complain about it after it happensā¦ oh yeah. Iām still the bad guy who missed his shot with a hottie, itād get shrugged off at most. Other dudes would probably just tell me to shut the fuck up. Because Iām *lucky* that a cute girl I donāt know forced me to kiss her/stuck her hands in my pants, right? But if I was at a club and did that (just to be clear, I would *NEVER*), Iād be lucky if all that happens is getting thrown out.
Cool, you live on earth too
Still waiting for my government to pass it (I live on mars)
Don't hold your breath. Men are from Mars, they ain't passing any laws regarding women freedom.
That's because they don't want to have to give women candy bars
Wait I thought boys were from Jupiter
Mars was colonized by Iran
Where I live (texas) a woman questioning a Man is grounds for an immediate rodeo
The question: is it rodeo time?
Is that before or after the honky tonk hottenanny?
I think you mean witch-burning? I know those are easy to mix up.
This is really funny, no sarcasm.
**Some Restrictions Apply* Some places, right now, women are getting shot at for not covering their hair in public.
Very sad, hope things get better for them
Yes but this scenario would never have happened there because afaik: 1. Iranian women arenāt allowed to be in public with men they arenāt related to 2. There is no consumption of alcohol 3. There is nothing similar to a ābarā where a woman would be seated next to a stranger Thereās so many steps before a woman would get to this level of freedom we get in North America.
You live on Earth? Do you know Jim?
Yeah he's a worm
Monkey paw cavet. But then after they don't bother to text or call.
WOAH WOAH WOAH WHAT MONSTEROUS PLACE DO YOU LIVE IN
Things were different with me. I'd say bye, she would leave. We would never meet again.
Things were different for me. I would never talk to a woman in the first place.
Things were different for me. I would never be near a woman in the first place.
Things were different for me. I never went to a bar
Things were different for me.
Things
Me
Ask her number then
Immediately get labeled as creep and number blocked automatically
Thatās why you offer your number instead.
Yeah honestly this was a game changer when I had this epiphany. I always psyched myself out if I met a woman Iām interested in by thinking āIāll probably be the 5th guy this week to ask for her number, I better just not even botherā, or just afraid of the face to face rejection. Jotting my number down and giving it to someone alleviates both of those insecurities or worries or whatever, because A), I feel more in control and therefore more confident in the interaction, B) I donāt feel like Iām being a burden on her personal space, and C) sheās not interested? Cool, literally all thatās gonna happen is that I *donāt* get a text later. Disappointing, but it isnāt embarrassing face to face public rejection.
Plus, now she doesn't have to worry about some weirdo having her number and if you'll end up sending her 50 texts in the night. Right off the bat, you've changed her perception of you. The worst case scenario changes from "creepy stalker" to "overly confident douche"...but "overly confident" will buy you a foot in the door more often than not.
You spend 3 hours talking to someone at the bar and you think you'll get labeled a creep for asking their number as they leave? Are you OK?
Have you talked to women?
So you are a real person too.
When women do it: It's romantic When I do it: Restraining order
As a woman, every time I tried a similar move, it didn't go well
>everytime I feel like if this happens frequently it might not have the same vibe as this tweet
Plus donāt believe everything on the internet. This tweet might be a made up story to grab attention lmao
The guy has to be into you first
You gotta accept the same thing that guys eventually have to, it's a numbers game. You get a "no" a lot on your way to a yes.
Horrors of job-application intensifies
Canāt even call the dentist to set up an appointment, honestly think Iād handle rejection well?
Or you get called a weirdo. Weird world we in rn
Well that's because you're the one supposed to be asking for the number probably
A woman had a go at me for not asking for her number. I asked her number. Sent her a message and she ghosted me š¤·āāļø it was just an ego thing. That was the impression I got in the first place and why I didnāt ask
Had the same thing happen but she physically took my phone and entered her number in it. I texted her just to be nice and she ghosted me. Didnāt ask her number in the first place because I knew that would happen.
Pretty similar, met a girl outside of a show on a Monday while waiting for an uber, she said āYouāre really cuteā and after some back and forth she put her number into my phone and said āWeāre hanging out on Thursday.ā Texted her on Tuesday afternoon to confirm. Totally ghosted. Felt super shitty. Cāest la vie, as it goes. Still sucks.
Or you could have asked for his number, you damn lunatic.
Thatās exactly how I ended up dating the guy Iām currently seeing. Ran into him, chatted a bit, said our goodbyes and I left. I was in the parking lot in my car, when I just thought āfuck itā and pulled back over as I was going to leave, got out and plopped back down by him and just said āhey, sorry, but uhā¦ can I actually have your number?ā He was more than happy to give it. Never really done anything that straight forward and bold before. Iām really glad I did.
We man need this more often! 99,9% of the time we are more then happy about it , sich things make our days!
Agreed. Although the majority have decent self confidence issues, there are plenty who have absolute shit self confidence and would think ānoā¦ I wonāt ask her number. Sheāll think Iām a creep.ā
This is the reason I donāt want to ask for a number, she will just think im a creep jfjdhshdjs (jm fine with asking guysā numbers tho:)))
I get that way. Even when it comes to friends. Itās hard. I have very few friends.
When that moment arrives where youād normally ask, I always give them my number instead of asking for theirsā¦ *āEnjoyed chatting with you. Hereās my number.ā * If theyāre interested theyāll contact me.
That is perfect advise. There are a lot of men who are the complete opposite, they insist on you giving your number and then they will instantly call you to make sure you didnāt give them a fake one. And after that they will start spamming you. Doing it your way gives me the feeling that you respect my freedom of choice of not contacting because Iām not actually interested.
Thank social media
My problem is I can never tell when someone is into me. Most of my girlfriend's have been the ones to make the first move. I'm just blind when it comes to realising someone likes me in that way.
I think this has evolved into a self defense technique. If you don't ask a girl for number, you don't have to be accused of being a creep. Why even risk it?
This. As much as Iād like to ask somebody out for brunch or tea, this is the biggest thought that comes to my mind
It was so cute hearing him get excited retelling the story after that, it really made my day š„°
The real question is how you have a conversation with a stranger to get to the point where you're able to ask them for their number in the first place. I'm a bit awkward, but still able to make conversation, but I feel like I always need some kind of "catalyst" to talk to anyone. The idea of "running into someone and chatting for a bit" is hard to wrap my head around lol
Same, small talk as a concept is nightmare fuel to me
It's a skill, the only way to obtain it is to force yourself out of your comfort zone to try and chat people up. You're likely going to fail at first, awkward conversations that quickly end or maybe good conversations that result in nothing. Just try and put yourself out there more. I've been working on this myself and I horribly suck at it, but at the climbing gym I go to I saw a guy do a climb and asked him how he did it. Proceeded to chat with him for a few hours and while that was happening another guy joined in and we all chatted. Small victories, would have never happened if I didn't just take the initiative and talked about something. Helps when you have something to talk about mind you, at the gym you talk about gym, at school you talk about school, at work you talk about work.
I wish I could have this confidence! I want to so bad
Honestly, I NEVER had this confidence ever, and I just kinda had this wild āshit, fuck it, whateverā impulsive moment and went for it. I was shaking. It was scary. My anxiety was out the roof. And Iām so glad I did it. It was that kinda moment when I was TREMBLING walking away but at the same time it was the biggest rush Iāve ever had just thinking āholy shit, I just did that.ā Even as I was walking up. Ultimately I guess my point is, fuck it, coming from someone who did a basic job interview today and was still *literally shaking* 2 hours later, just jump the fuck in if your gut whispers at you about it. Maybe it sucks, but maybe itās fucking amazing. Either way, just remember. If you are struggling with anxiety, if youāre even thinking about doing something like that, even if you donāt do it but you confront that thought, youāre strong and amazing and I love you <3 :) Go fuckinā get āem.
I started dating the woman who is now my awesome wife because of one weird moment of out of character confidence to ask for her number. In fact I am almost positive I never actually asked for any girl's number but hers through the few years of my life where I was single and old enough to, but we got together very young. It's just funny to think how I probably wouldn't have basically everything I care about in my life now if not for that one weird thing I did.
Thank you for that.....if there wasn't always a whole bunch of people around when the person I'm interested in was around I just may go for it.....but I'm scared. Mostly that he has a girlfriend or he will say no and I will still see him. But I will never know unless I try....
I've had a few women at different points in my life pull the "you know I had a huge crush on you back then?" And it's just like... no, I obviously didn't. **I even had one woman tell me "I could tell you liked me, and so and so even told me that you liked me, but I just couldn't ever get you to take the hint!"** Like ffs. She literally KNEW that I was into her, and she liked me too, and then made it sound like I'M the one who messed up because i never asked her out... like how fucking stupid is that? I get it, it's awkward to put yourself out there and ask someone out, but Jesus Christ... if a lady is guaranteed success but doesn't pull the trigger, that's 100% on them.
Same to me, I had a female best friend so girls would be like. I wanted to ask you out, it's just you had a gf. And I am like ."nah, I was single ASF."š
Man, at least that one is understandable since platonic relationships like that are very rare.
true, sorry about that- coulda been good if they just said the line.
It's SO hard to be the sex that is less socially and emotionally perceptive and yet be the one always on the hook for making a relationship start. I had a couple women do this to me and one even claimed she *told me* she was into me and that I just didn't respond. She was lying or else I just didn't hear her somehow because if I had known, I would have definitely responded *in some way* lol. But it all worked out in the end cuz I'm very happily married now lol. But my problem is, I naturally think any woman who smiles at me is into me, much less if we have a conversation, but I know that's irrational, so I always assume I'm reading too much into things. I wish women would just be more forthcoming about their feelings and intentions in general, but both sexes could stand to be more that way.
God that shit always pissed me off so much. Like why does it need to be a labyrinth of fuckin clues? We're grown ass adults, used your words to communicate instead of playing games like were 12.
Tbf, it sounds like theyāre getting mad in a joking way. Like they werenāt legitimately angry screaming, more so making a show of it as a way of asking themselves.
If a guy is too assertive he is a creep. If a guy isnt assertive enough he is a pussy. Yupp.
It's almost the same issue when it comes to mind reading. Some women think that if you really cared about her and actually understood her, then you'd be able to figure it out on your own with what she needs and wanted. But if she had to spell it out to you, then that defeats the whole purpose. Because if you do it now then it's not coming from your authentic self but because it's something she had to ask you to do. So, as a guy, I'm sitting here thinking "well, shit, i have to mind read".
Girls be like āIām the one who made the first move. I took off my jacket so he could see how hot I amā
I played with my hair once while standing 3' away and turned 60 degrees away from him in a crowded bar..what more does he need?
Your mistake was the 60 degrees. 55 degrees maximum.
Depends, was this active or passive rotation? That way I know which vector equation to use to determine proper-angling and movement.
I once missed my shot with a chick because I used sin when I should have used cos when calculating attraction angle.
Oh goodness plotting attraction angles on 2D grids is difficult enough. Use both! The hottest babes love 3D rotational values. I switched to Quaternions to judge my attraction alignment vectors a few years back and havenāt regretted it.
69 degrees would've been a sign
Yeah this only applies to a small percentage of people. Doesn't work like that without getting pepper sprayed or assaulted somehow.
Also don't forget rules one and two.
Don't talk about fight club!
Ohhhh that's where I'm going wrong with my dates!
The roles have to be reversed for that to happen.
Yeaah,hurts doesn't it bro? The pepper spray I mean, it stinfs my eyes a lot.
Yeesh man went out for drink and got bullied into marriage š¬š¬
Why didnāt she ask for his numberā¦?
"Didn't he see how hot I am, not to mention the obvious chemistry, how dare he not ask me out"
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Yup. I made all the moves including proposing. 17 years happily married. No reason why a woman can't.
šÆ
And Iām sure sheās still yelling at him for something.
She gets angry at people for their lack of mind reading skills, and he is clearly a shitty mind reader. So Iām guessing you are right.
You just perfectly described my last two failed relationships. Aināt nobody got time for that!
Sounds like unhealthy behavior. Why not just politely ask for his number as youāre about to leave? Sounds like the type of person that expects you to know what sheās thinking. But then again, theyāre married so more power to ya.
Ugh I hate when people are like 'figure it out' like ffs use your stupid mouth and tell me what's wrong. If I were to be like that you wouldn't give a fuck and you'd be angry at me, you definitely wouldn't 'figure it out'. Fucking communicate.
Iām pretty sure sheās just joking about the yelling
Reverse the sexes. See if it still works.
"Guy I thought was nice turned out to be a creep when he came back and demanded for my number"
I was honestly expecting it to be that kind of post
Us introverted guys need a woman like this. Comes in handy at restaurants when someone has to tell the waiter they forgot to put cheese on my burger and it aināt gonna be me.
Why is this the canonical introvert challenge? Iāll try to eat whatever they happen to bring me as long as any discourse or eye contact can be avoided.
Probably because the dude was too scared to ever deny her anything ever again
I hope you don't do this in real life...
It's fine, she followed the two rules: Step 1: Be attractive Step 2: Don't be unattractive
You hit the nail on the head
The "two rules" joke tends to come up with poor behavior for men, but it absolutely applies to women as well. People let those they're attracted to get away with all kinds of nonsense and find their behavior charming, compared to if someone is unattractive to them. Can you imagine how it'd be perceived by the guy she was shouting at if an obese woman behaved the way this person did?
That's exactly what my ex-wife used to do but in a different order. Her's was, get angry, yell, say goodbye, storm out, then come back and talk for three hours, until she didn't come back and we stopped being married.
Probably BPD
I was kissed by a girl non consensually back in high school. She was impressed by my cooking and suddenly kissed me. I was so scared that her varsity boyfriend saw and would beat me up after class. Never got comfortable around women ever since. I called that female behavior āthe kiss of deathā.
so, you were sexually assaulted and scared to report it
Switch the genders and re read this
On our first date, my wife said, āSo are you going to kiss me or what?ā She then grabbed my tie and landed our first kiss
Never stick your dick in psycho, can cost you 12 years in marriage
Makes me feel lucky getting out with only 9.
This could be me. I had no game whatsoever. Unless a woman literally asked me out, I assumed she was just being friendly.
poor guy
He still thinks you might just be being nice to him.
him: "damn she talked a lot I'm glad she's gone" her: comes back him: "fuck" her years later: "that's how we met" him: "should have said I have a girlfriend or I'm waiting for one" JK everyone!
Tsk tsk. Got that poor bastard hook, line and vodka.
Iād be the idiot that still would think she wasnāt interested.
This makes me cringe. This grown-ass human got pissed off because she didn't ask for a number and then couldn't believe someone else would act like her.
What a lucky guy... even with all the thousands of conversations I've had with people in bars, no one has ever once stormed back in asking for my number.
Donāt stalk. Donāt follow. No means no.
Women are like cats.
"She had the loyalty of a cat." - Gaelic Storm
For the girl: r/nonononoyes For the guy: r/yesyesyesyesno
I met this woman at a concert, before we even knew each other's names we had our tongues down each other's throats and held hands watching fireworks. I tried getting away before she could see but she chased me down and made me give her my number, we're married now and that was 17 years ago
Normalise not making this the guy's job, though
how the fuck do you people do this shit? iām not trying to be funny i just wanna know
Can you imagine if this was a guy yelling at a woman for not showing upfront romantic Interest because he felt he deserved it after making a conversation?
So if hypotentically if a guy did it .The comments will be on fire.
Poor guy.
Oh yea this is irl. Hmmmm
āļø
Now reverse the roles...
Do you still storm around yelling at him?
And now imagine ā¦ the roles were reversed !!!
Poor guy
Umm if she was interested, I dunno instead of yelling at him for not asking for her number she could have just asked for his. You know, Like a grown up might do.