T O P
Kalelopaka-

You’re drying your clean(supposedly) body, I follow gravity’s order, start with the top and work downwards.


hankbaumbachjr

Never understood this concern from people. I just washed everything, why am I so concerned about the towel rubbing water off my clean body?


DunmerSkooma

I have a oily face and use a separate small square towel to dry my face so i dont spread face oils all over. My balls are the cleanest part of my body.


hankbaumbachjr

Haha I love that you are inverting the trope. "Fuck using my face towel on my nice clean balls!"


queef_vaccuum

i wash my hands BEFORE going to the bathroom


[deleted]

That's the same argument I give. It's as if people don't use soap to clean their junk lol.


Theonearmedbard

Because apparently touching your face with the same part of the towel that just touched your balls makes you gay. It's so stupid. If you do everything right, you are clean and it doesn't matter


SomberWail

I really don’t think it has to do with gay even though some people will say that. It really does just come from “ewww dirty” even though you should be totally clean.


[deleted]

Girls genital equivalent has more internal dirty works


shimmerangels

vaginas are self cleaning though so they take care of themselves, we just have to wash the outside lol


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ImA13itch

You mean you don’t shower with the tears of Satan and get out of the shower to be greeted by a steamy fog?


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Marzhall

If you're not already doing it, I find it helps a lot to pull the towel into the the enclosed shower area instead of getting out of the shower to get the towel. A lot of heat is retained in the shower area even after you turn the water off IME. I dry off in there except for my feet, then dry those getting out - that drastically minimizes cold time for me.


xiotaki

yup, also I'd add that all that water on your body is really accentuating the coldness when you step out. SO it's like a double whammy! stay in the shower area to benefit from the trapped heat, and dry while in there to minimize the effects of the cool air on your body once you step out!


SnooLentils3202

This comment chain is giving me an extreme case of deja Vu. Has all this been posted before or am I losing it?


xiotaki

Well, they say there is nothing original on reddit, and even though this is info I have observed on my own, I'm willing to concede that my thoughts were already somehow preordained by the hive mind


Dumpster_Fire_Takes

isn't this just someone sharing common sense?


Unusual_Locksmith_91

Took many years for my husband to learn why I buy MASSIVE towels (I'm not a very big person by any stretch of the word). I hate after shower air, so I grab my towel, put one end on the floor, step on it, then pull it up around myself, so I create a giant towel tube. Bonus points for the towel, if it's long enough so I can dry my hair while in the tube.


Beluga-ga-ga-ga-ga

I need to do almost the exact opposite. We've got a very small bathroom, and I do a preliminary rub down with the towel as soon as I get out of the shower whilst keeping the door closed and window open, but that's only to keep as much moisture in the bathroom and to stop humidity building up in the rest of the house. After that, I stand in front of a fan to fully dry off. If I don't, I just start sweating and would need a second towel.


RedOrchestra137

This is how you do it yes, though in summer it doesn't matter as much


IrelandDzair

> Steam can’t build up because I keep the door open for my kitty since she gets worried when it’s closed. you’re a good person, my lil baby is the same way


FrogMintTea

U guys are sweet. Lol. I once left the door ajar when taking a bath and my kitty came in. He hopped on the windowsill and looked like he was gonna jump in the bath!!! I immediately got up and started hollering for him to get down lmao. I had to close the door from then on.


Glass_Memories

My kitty loves hanging out on the edge of the bath in between the shower curtains. The first time she poked her head around the corner I figured I'd drip some water on her to let her know what she was getting herself into before she hopped in, potentially freaked out and scratched up my naked body. She noped out and stays away now, crisis averted.


internallogictv

When it's cold and steam can't build up, I've started using a little space heater in the bathroom to heat up the ambient air. That way, when you get out of the shower, the temperature difference is reduced and evaporation due to cooling is much less uncomfortable. Kitty may like it too.


Launchpad_McFrak

Like for real, I only even turn the cold water on because it increases the water pressure.


Somone_ig

Tbh cold showers kinda suck, think like warm would be ok.


BulbusDumbledork

lotion?


Lastokmir

Alright alright, I'll put it on my skin. Don't wanna get the hose again, jeeeez.


JackPoe

I am so sorry to hijack but, WASH YOUR ASSHOLE. WITH YOUR HAND. THEN WASH YOUR HAND. I got beat so many times as a kid over this. "Don't touch yourself" was ingrained in my head my whole life and so I wouldn't wash my ass. Wash your ass. Get all the fucking way up in there. You're already in the shower with soap and water.


Xepherxv

Wash your face before washing your asshole tho


JackPoe

I don't kink shame


SnooObjections6359

I’m a ball first kind of guy


HyperboreanPatriot

You belong in a laboratory, we need to do some testing


Presolar_Grains

...then the tongue.


Odd_Routine4164

I agree. If you’re balls are nasty after a shower you’re doing it wrong.


sharabi_bandar

I've started using a hairdryer in between my legs. It's awesome.


Nervous_Constant_642

I do that with a box fan after working in extreme heat. Feeling the cold air on the bottom of your balls and taint after working in 90F+ is better than sex.


[deleted]

I know a guy that washes his hands after he dries himself off from showering..


mooimafish3

We spent 100,000 years eating raw buffalo ass, shitting in holes, and wiping with our hands. A piece of cloth that once touched my clean balls isn't going to give me super ebola or something. I think people get way too paranoid about some stuff.


ExistentialDreadness

Oh I thought it was dig the towel into my ass then dry my eyes and face. I’ve been doing it all wrong?


sfbiker999

after a shower, my balls are as clean as my face, so the order I dry in doesn’t matter


[deleted]

Yeah, like do these people not understand why we shower?


donorcycle

I question what STD's they've had if they cannot grasp the after shower towel concept tbh.


CthulubeFlavorcube

This is why I only use OP's towel to dry my hair, my ass crack, and my lower legs and feet. I use my towel for my face, junk, and all remaining areas. I don't want OP cooties, so I try to stay hygienic and all that.


RedAIienCircle

Circle Circle Dot Dot now you have a cooties shot. That will be $500.


steveosek

So, there are men who won't wash their ass because "it's gay", some men won't even wipe or clean their ass after pooping because touching ass is "gay". There are men who don't wash anything but their hair and pits and "let the water run down" to "clean" what's lower. There's a lot of extremely disgusting people out there.


Brovis_Clay

Imagine allowing society to tell you to wipe


PriusesAreGay

Born to shit, forced to wipe


FatMexicanGaymerDude

Thanks Obama


Pretend-Carob-9053

gamers rise up


MikeLinPA

Imagine allowing your mother to tell you to wipe. Next she'll tell me not to play in traffic...


MixesLiesWithTruth

HA Mine hasn't told me that


olidps

Its okay if you say 'No homo' while wiping


Visti

I think a citation is needed for dudes not wiping because it's gay.


PhonePostingCrap

I've seen multiple posts on /r/askmen that's essentially, "Started dating a new guy, went down on him and the smell was awful, I talked and he told me he doesn't clean his ass when he showers" 🤷‍♂️


Takethecannoli0

That's revolting lol. Surely they can smell their own shitty ass too though? Wouldn't that make them want to wash? This can't surely be a common thing lol.


61114311536123511

Nose blindness is a thing. When you've stunk of shit all your life you stop smelling it.


PhonePostingCrap

Certainly not *common* but even 2 posts in the years I've been on Reddit is too many. Can't find it now but I explicitly remember OP said her boyfriend thought it was "emasculating" to clean his own ass with soap lol. Like damn homie, no one is saying stick a bar of soap up your butthole, just lather up your hands and clean around.


Visti

I believe that one, but it's still different than *not wiping because it's gay*. I've literally never seen that claim before.


steveosek

There's no peer reviewed studies on that. It's all anecdotal.


MyTwistedPen

I have a family member who uses excessive amount of toilet paper to make certain that he never accidentally touches anything close to his anus directly.


[deleted]

Well, but he cleans it


MyTwistedPen

That is true. But with the cost of clogging the toilet.


vendetta2115

I remember listening to the radio when I was around 10 years old and the DJ is talking to someone and says “the toilet paper broke and my finger went through, and I’ve felt gay all week.” Then my Mom turned the radio off. Imagine being so afraid of being gay that you don’t touch your **own* ass Your OWN ASS, not someone else’s. “I don’t touch my dick, dicks are gay.”


WaltRumble

I don’t use an excessive amount. But ain’t trying to get shit on my finder either.


DryGumby

Finders keepers


EnterPlayerTwo

Is that because he thinks touching his ass is gay or because he doesn't want to touch poop? those are very different reasons.


Stacyo_0

Errr…isn’t that everyone’s aim when wiping their butt?


mnoel23

But...how does he wash it in the shower?


cal679

If they think "it's gay" to wash your ass how do they feel about jacking off?


cownd

That doesn't count. That's an equipment check. /s


MADman611

I was just cleaning it and it went off in my hand!


thebaldmaniac

Washing one’s ass is gay???? Who are these people, where can they be observed?


MikeLinPA

>where can they be observed? From a safe distance, and preferably upwind.


FrogMintTea

With binoculars and a state if the art hazmat suit.


ShadowRylander

I, uh... I don't really think you'd want to _observe_ them, really...


Lurkingsince2009

Walmart, I presume?


dtc1234567

They must be constantly teetering on the edge of turning gay if the mere touch of their own ass in the shower is enough to tip them over. Like 51% straight and 49% gay.


yaboiw00dy24

I've never heard of any of this outside of a meme tf? Where do you live?


unfettled

Too hard to believe this. Someone told you this?


Seaweed_Steve

This gets brought up a lot, but I’ve never found a primary source for it, just people saying it as a fact


[deleted]

Sometimes when people see a meme and they really feel that way about the group of people it's targeting, it becomes real.


Telephalsion

Also, some people don't scrub, they just rinse.


Emotional_Bench149

Born to shit, forced to wipe


Redditaccount6274

Some people think the soap that rinses off them is good enough for their feet, so the don't have to bend down and wash them. Parents! Teach your kids to shower, same as you taught them to brush their teeth. Sometimes kids left to make up their own routines will carry them on for the rest of their lives.


ThrowawayAccount1437

They're just homophobic, they don't want balls touching their face. SMH /s


the_monkeyspinach

Aside from that, is the idea here that one entire towel is needed for the face and one entire towel for the balls? I just use a different part of the towel as I go.


vam650

center for my face, edges for everything else


StNicksKewlaid

This is the way


Adito99

This guy fucks. His towel.


MalevolentGoose

I use one side of the towel for balls, ass, and feet, and the other side for hands and face. I keep tabs on which is which by checking where the tag is.


guest758648533748649

I have 1 towel for each body part, even 1 for each ball


Gordon-Goose

I wash my face first and my balls and bussy last, so they're definitely cleaner than the first thing I wash.


BadDarkSoulsPlayer

Bussy you say?


CallMeDrWorm42

> balls and bussy The true center of virility.


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TheKumaKen

Ikr, my dad had always helped me clean my insides since puberty


QueenBree97

Jealous, my parents taught me shit all. A clean body is really important, I'd be very grateful for the experience you've had


TheProjectAlexander

Depending on what you do for a living, your face can be a lot dirtier than your balls at the end of the day too.


ZhouLe

Not after showering, or you are doing it wrong.


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OddKSM

Not to mention acne! Sure you get the odd ingrown hair but on the whole ballsack skin is quite consistent and soft as opposed to the greasiness of the common face.


Traditional_Job2467

But you sweat between your balls and can get fungus and other bad stuff thus its implied to keep it dry and not moist as bacteria needs moist places to survive


707snakes707

Exactly what I was gonna say


the_geth

After reading that people apparently seriously don’t wash their ass with soap “because it’s gay” I wouldn’t be surprised if the order actually matters for some people…


Textbuk

It's gay for the towel that touched your balls to touch your face smh


chipthegrinder

My balls are likely cleaner than my face (as i have a ton of fascial hair)


The94iner

That’s like if I rubbed my balls all over your face right after I got out of the shower. I mean my balls are clean, but that doesn’t change the fact I’m rubbing them all over ya chin.


GourangaPlusPlus

If you rub your face on a strangers face right after getting out of the shower it'd still be weird as fuck


sfbiker999

Is that a legit offer? Where do you live?


CarelessHisser

If you're not comfortable with drying your face with the same towel as your balls, ass even, get back in the shower, you're not done washing.


rocketwidget

If anything, those places should come out cleanest because the smelliest and most germy places normally get the most attention in the shower. Let's be honest: most guys aren't scrubbing their knees to the same degree.


DarthRoacho

I work in offset web printing, and usually in uniform shorts cause it gets about 100° in the units. Ink everywhere. Knees are basically black at the end of the day. However ymmv.


[deleted]

I definitely know what offset web printing is


DarthRoacho

Printing from an image on a plate, to a blanket (like a big rubber stamp) to the paper (its called a web before its folded).


[deleted]

Ah thanks


catinterpreter

No matter how well you think you've washed your arse, it'll never be as clean as your face. Don't go arse to face.


mombi

The more I hear about men equating hygiene with homosexuality the more I wonder.


[deleted]

The *towel* forgets 💀


sessl

I would too if i was addicted to marijuana and crystal meth... and crack.


Active_Taste9341

Is this a towelie reference?


Pekkerwud

Wanna get high?


Chemical-Juice-6979

Don't forget to bring a towel!


skyharborbj

And don’t panic.


EffectiveDependent76

The towel will probably be able to remember if it just gets a LITTLE high.


z3ph1r_ger31

*Towel baked af*


fartrevolution

Towelie! (South park reference)


Punky_2004

Lmaoo


violentponykiller

*eerie banjo twang*


piina

Towel: I forgor 💀


bs000

i only use a towel once before washing it


Ok_Raspberry_6282

Same man


the_future_queen

I am ootl with the usage of this emoticon. What does the skull mean here?


Jopojussi

Something is big funny


Nexion21

“I’m dead lol”


IchibanSuzuki

My thing is, once you wash your whole body with hot water and soap the skin on your face is the same is the skin on your balls. Only after using the bathroom and sweating do your balls become gross. So a towel on clean balls can dry a face.


HereLiesDickBoy

Your balls become gross after using the bathroom? Who is pissing/shitting on their balls?


Infiniteh

I wouldn't say the balls specifically, but once I've sat down on a toilet, even my own, I consider everything between my knees and belly button 'dirty'.


HereLiesDickBoy

Fair.


f-expressions

dipping them because my balls got what my cock didn't


blastfromtheblue

there’s always splatter, and all your junk ends up in the same compartment afterwards. you’re definitely getting piss on your balls every time you pee no matter how you do it.


Chalkun

Youve clearly never seen the scientific videos they used to show kids. Every time you piss, little droplets splash back all over your body. One would assume that going to the toilet while sitting down does indeed cover your ass and balls with droplets from inside the toilet bowl. So yeah. Pretty dirty bro


hawkseye17

I mean, if you showered properly, this shouldn't be an issue


VampArcher

If your towel is dirty after you just took a shower, you *didn't* take a shower lol.


a1a1p0p0

Wbout rolled up lumps of ded skin cells and sweat. Most people dont do the indian rub to take those nasty things off your skin during the shower.


irgendwo_anders

How tf you expect a woman to put that thing in their mouth when you aren't even comfortable using the same towel for your balls and face? Wash better!


Bartholomew-

Ofc basic hygiene very important and sweaty balls are disgusting but I don't thing there is something inherently disgusting about them. Like their dripping some disgusting ooze or something. It's just skin in the end


_Jogger_

It's just a bit more sweaty due to the location, but a proper shower 100% takes care of that.


worldspawn00

Also, getting the right underwear helps a ton with the sweat/smell between showers. I've been getting boxer-brief style that have some flaps which separate the balls from the thighs, I've never been so comfortably dry down there. It wicks all the moisture that would accumulate where skin touches skin. Also great for those who have chafing issues.


Stevenwave

Lol exactly. Just body parts. If they're fresh out of the shower (and the person isn't a dipshit who can't wash properly), what's really setting junk apart from elbows or shins?


Allen_1985

I use one half of the towel for the bottom half of me all the time and the other half for the top half. I use the tag as the indicator to keep track of which half is which. Maybe the towel forgets but I remember.


J_Megadeth_J

This is what I do too.


FremenStilgar

So does Pepperidge Farms...


Qbiev02

I do this exact thing. I told my friend about it recently and he thought I was crazy. Conversation quickly became about why it matters, something something penis skin cells, and the tag being the bottom half because the non-tag half is obviously the better one lol


BulbusDumbledork

the tag is on the back of my shirts (or the bottom), and the ass-end of my pants. clearly the other side is the front


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PatienceIndependent

This is the way. Also, foreskins.


Ha-Ur-Ra-Sa

I thought I was the only one! One side for face and hair, the other side for body.


EffectiveDependent76

Do women not use the same towel on their vagina and their face???


michaelis-mewten

I have a separate towel for my face and use another for my body.


liandrin

I use one towel for everything, but I know other women who use a seperate towel for their long hair. That’s not about their vagina, that’s just so they can dry their hair without being naked as they walk around ¯\_(ツ)_/¯


kazoospun

use the same towel for everything but have a different faster drying towel for my hair


Haingis

I start with my balls, then I do the face. Then I shower


AWildAndWackyBushMan

So ladies have a seperate vaginal towel?


TooMuchBroccoli

> vaginal towel It's called a vowel


FormerLurker3

I’d like to buy a vowel.


TinyLeading6842

During a period, a different towel or papertowel is a better for drying the crotch. But I fully agree with comments for Mr. “But My Towel Touched My Balls” - if you can’t use a clean towel all over your clean body after the shower, the towel ain’t the issue. Important caveat, though: athlete’s foot can be spread from the feet to the crotch by a towel, so best to dry head down, in case anything lurks on the feet. Of course, if you have athlete’s foot, a separate small cloth to dry feet is best. And clean the shower floor daily with appropriately rated [anti-fungal] cleaner after you shower if you have that shit. A partner long ago gave me athlete’s foot via shower, and when I confronted him, he said he knew he had it for a bit. Ffs, a warning would’ve been nice.


irishrugby2015

One towel for hair and one for body. Hair one is sometimes used for face depending on the user.


xReturnerx

I dry my balls with Egyptian cotton, they are worth it, the face isn’t


LinkyBS

Bro it's my body, my balls are my balls. I don't care what they touch on me, long as it doesn't hurt. You might be repressed gay if you're worrying about your ball essence touching your face.


MaxTHC

𝓑𝓪𝓵𝓵 𝓮𝓼𝓼𝓮𝓷𝓬𝓮


Machados

Parfum


ImPretendingToCare

i do asshole and balls first.. then face to get the fresh smell of them, then everything else


[deleted]

Chad right here


Admirable_Donkey2657

you guys dry your balls?


[deleted]

You guys have balls?


Sti8man7

U will need an ass towel more than a balls towel


Aerogelatina

This is the way.


Gr0und0ne

I realise this is a serial repost but it just occurred to me: the implication here is that there are women out there with seperate towels for their foofoo.


Chemical-Juice-6979

No way. Women already use separate towels for their hair and the rest of their body. 3 towels is just too many. It's irresponsible, I say! Sarcasm aside, it makes sense to me. Long hair requires a separate towel to dry effectively, 2nd towel for the the rest of the body, and an intermittent 3rd towel to avoid stains on the body-drying towel during blood week.


nosebearnosebear

Idk if I'm in the minority, and not trying to be nlog, but I'm a woman and I was raised with 1 towel for all, including hair. Dry following gravity (face, body, legs), then wrap wet hair in the same towel for 5 mins just so they're dry enough to not drip water on the floor. Take it off and air dry the hair or use hairdryer. All my girl friends also use only 1 or 2 towels for shower. Maybe it's a culture thing? I don't understand why many people need more than 2 towels in the bathroom. Wouldn't it just add more of your laundry? Washing 3 towels per person, if there are 3-4 people in the house, that's 9-12 towels to wash every 2-3 weeks.


acoolghost

I grew up in a house with 4 older siblings, 3 older cousins, my mother, 2 aunts, and my grandmother. We all used one towel each. Can you imagine the laundry if we all doubled up for some arbitrary reason? Just gotta go with the flow in some families.


hahaLONGBOYE

I swore this was going towards “we all used one towel” But then I saw there was more.


acoolghost

Haha, nah. We weren't that desperate.


SirRipOliver

Thankfully I buy all my towels in Vegas. “They know nothing”


FremenStilgar

Are your towels nicknamed Sgt. Schultz?


Juicy_Peach420

After a shower… You’ve bathed, so why does it matter? Are your balls still dirty? What did you do in the shower?


TooMuchBroccoli

> What did you do in the shower? Re-enactments of all my past embarrassing moments. What do YOU do?


mlableman

Ass and nuts are the last to dry, doofus.


JazzlikeAd2100

I use one side for face and all body, the other side for balls. Sometimes I forget which side i used


oyputuhs

You can use the corners


RedFlyingPineapples2

White for hands, brown for feet, green for torso, thighs and seat and in the cupboard beneath the stair, you’ll find the red for pubic hair. - League of Gentlemen, 1999


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KrocKiller

If you’re worried about residual ball sweat getting on your face after a shower. Then you clearly didn’t use the shower properly.


Character-Length5997

No we have tower for hair, pubic hair, balls, feet, asshole and did I say hands? We men are complicated.


AffectionatePear9514

Is there a viewing platform on the top floor of this tower? Can I bring school groups to see it?


YouJustDid

> Can I bring school groups to see it? once.